Even if you do sometimes have trouble with getting or keeping an erection, it doesn’t have to mean the end of your love life. And, even if you are still doing just fine in that area, there have probably been some changes that come with age that make intimacy more of a challenge as we get older.
For many folks, when we were younger, doing what came naturally seemed to get the job done. We may have read some of those sex ed classics…you know, Peyton Place, Facts of Life and Love for Teenagers, or even seeing one of “those movies.” (Or at least many of you guys did. Us girls would not have been caught dead going to one of “those movies.” We would have been grounded ’til we were 35 if our folks found out.)
But for the most part, it figured it out as you go.
Unfortunately, just because it was perfectly natural, didn’t mean it was naturally perfect. We just did the best we could with what we knew at the time. But, relying on figuring it out as you go, doesn’t cut it now for most of us.
The older we get, the better love’n skills we need. Especially those that let us deal with some of changes that come just because we’re older. Bad knees, a little arthritis, needing more sleep, and getting more tired more quickly. Then there’s the physical changes as a result of fewer hormones. For women this can mean anything from brittle bones to less lubrication when aroused. Men might find they sex drive is less, and lovemaking takes a lot more energy than it used to…or at least that’s how it seems.
Sometimes the solution is pretty simple, just taking more time when you need more to get aroused and stay aroused. Sometimes it’s getting some new tools, like personal lubrication to make things a lot easier after menopause. Or new techniques and positions to accommodate bad news or arthritic hips.
And, sometimes it means going back to the drawing board and spending some time together figuring out what will make a big difference… deliberately learning better love’s skills to accommodate and enhance who you are right now.