You can turn your love life into a hot “Sexperience” for you both so that she leads you to the bedroom. Because she wants you to make love to her, and so here are some tips on how to be the lover she always wanted you to be!
First of all, one thing you need to know is that women are naturally much more orgasmic than men. That might be a blow to your male pride. but it’s a fact: your partner is capable of different types of orgasm and even multiple orgasms.
The sad thing is that many women miss out on orgasms for years, just because the man they’re with has no idea how to satisfy them. By learning how to give her a climax – and especially by learning how to give her multiple orgasms – you’ll be the star of her show – and you’ll get greater pleasure yourself…
Start by romancing her. You might think, “Oh no, not that girly romance stuff”, but the truth is that romance will make a woman’s heart melt, and when she feels loving towards you, she’ll feel much more desire for you. That means the chance of you getting the sex you want and need is dramatically increased.
And – you know what? – romance doesn’t have to be difficult. A simple note left in her drawer, telling her how beautiful she is and how much you appreciate her will count for as much is her mind as a diamond ring (well, almost!). A phone call during the day to remind her that you’re thinking about her will keep you on her mind all day. And an unexpected trip out to dinner, or a weekend away, will make you her local hero. When you get home from work, it’ll be more than dinner on the table.
And when you start making love with her, remember that how aroused she directly determines how much pleasure you get. That’s why it’s essential for you to take the time to arouse her before you get anywhere near penetration. Once again, this doesn’t have to be difficult, it just takes a certain amount of planning. Do the things you enjoy, things that she will appreciate. One of these is simple massage techniques – the touch you give her can be light and loving.
Start by massaging her shoulders – you don’t have to be an expert masseur, for even a little contact will bring you closer and melt away her tension. And the closer she feels towards you, the more chance of her being able to melt into orgasm when you make love. Later you can move on to her belly, her back and her thighs, and you can guess where that might lead….look up the techniques of yoni massage in the internet if you want to give her a great orgasm with your fingers, she’ll be in heaven (“yoni” is a Tantric sex word for the vulva).
You probably groan inwards when you hear the word “foreplay”, but it really is important. Extended foreplay makes it almost certain that she will reach orgasm – twenty minutes of foreplay means she will orgasm nine times out of ten – and that means a satisfied, happy woman, great sex, and a better relationship. And what does this mean in practice?
It means ignoring her vagina until well into the proceedings, caressing, stroking and kissing her, building up sexual tension and teasing her into high arousal.
Now – who comes first? Is it you?
Bad idea, because when you come, you lose interest, the sexual tension decreases, and she never comes. It’s just too much trouble to take her there after you’ve reached orgasm yourself. So change things around: make your rule “Women come first”! That way, she’ll still be aroused when you take your pleasure, and she’ll welcome you into her aroused and hot body, which makes things much more pleasurable and satisfying for you.
Do you have a problem lasting as long as you’d like?
Well, if you make sure your woman reaches her climax first, this is no longer an issue. Let’s face facts: very few women reach orgasm through intercourse, they need stimulation to the clitoris to get to orgasm – and that just doesn’t happen during intercourse. But even so, you might want to last longer for your own pleasure – and hers – even when she’s already had an orgasm. A great idea to help you last longer is to stop moving when you feel you’re about to come, keep still for a few minutes until the urge passes. If you keep on practicing this, you’ll find that in no time you can last longer and longer.
And of course, if you can last longer, she’s more likely to reach orgasm a second time:)
One of the skills of being a great lover is to be able to judge how much time to spend stimulating her clitoris. As you may have noticed, too much stimulation can disrupt her arousal – and even feel pain. Worse still, if you spend too much time and effort on her clit. It will soon become desensitized, and she’ll feel nothing.
The best way to stop this happening?
Get her to tell you when she’s had enough! Women often complain that men don’t know what women want during sex, but the fact is we’re not mind-readers, and women have a responsibility to let us know what they need. When she tells you to ease off, move on to her G spot, and come back to her clit from time to time.
Ah! The famous G-spot. There’s no doubt it exists, so all you have to do is find it. And pleasure her with its exquisite sensitivity. The G spot can be the fastest way for a woman to get aroused: whether you use penis or fingers to stimulate it, it can send her into orgasm very quickly, especially if you have a finger (or your mouth) on her clitoris as well.
If you use your fingers, feel for a little-raised spot just inside the vagina on the front wall as she lies on her back. Experiment with different strokes to find the ones which make her moan with pleasure.
Alternatively, find a lovemaking position which will stimulate her G spot. The best one is with her sitting on top of you as you lie on your back, so she can move freely and find the position which gives her the greatest pleasure – obviously, that gives her a greater chance of reaching orgasm.
Above all, don’t be too hung up on penetration as a way to make her come. Far and away the best route to orgasm for most women is cunnilingus – oral pleasure. You might find this surprising, but in study after study, women said it was their number one way to reach orgasm. They like it much more than intercourse, though that can be rewarding because of the sense of closeness and connection it gives.
When you offer her oral pleasure, make sure to use lots of different strokes to find out which one she likes – but not all at once. Consistency and rhythm are essential – once you find something that works, keep going. And as she nears her climax, don’t speed up – that’s something that men like, whereas women usually want the same speed of stimulation until they come.
There you have it – simple tips to make your woman orgasm every time you make love. They’ll help your relationship grow and evolve and give you much more pleasure in bed.